Do you ever sit and just wonder in awe at the God of the heavens and earth; the one, the only, the single person or entity that we can truly trust, love and depend on? As the storm continues to rage about me, my faith does not waiver but my actions, my hope, my desire fades. Why is it that this is the case? Why is it a constant battle? A constant struggle and fight to maintain balance and survive? As one giant crumbles, three more arise to take its place.
I hope with all that is in me at the prospects that lie before me. But all seems impossible without God. My friends, my family turn against me. Those I thought I could trust, turn their backs on me. Even those that call themselves Christians, judge the unknown. I stand before man, judged; Am I unworthy of love? Am I unworthy of affection? Do I throw my hands in the air and give up? They say yes, all is lost.
All is pointless they say, all is meaningless. Hope? There is no hope. I must awake from my fairy tale, my dreams for something better, my hope that God does answer prayer. That my God is looking over me, that he wants to and will perform miracles. Why do those around me pull me down in their doubts and hate? Why am I shackled by their foolishness? Their pessimistic, snobbery makes my stomach turn. Why my Father? Why is it such a burden I bare? My heart and soul are broken.
Dear heavenly Father, I call upon you early this morning. Today, well, today was a fight for my sanity. I am not sure I can bare the pressures upon me. I have allowed hate and anger to burn in me today and it nearly overtook me. Why Lord? Why am I so fragile? Why is it so difficult to stand sometimes? I am feeble and unworthy of you. Yet I know you love me and hold your arms out and welcome me. Why my God, why? Please, give me peace. My heart and soul long for you. I need your guidance Lord, I need you to quicken my body to face the multiple trials that lie ahead of me. Help me to love my enemy and those that hurt me. Please Lord, this is my biggest struggle. Please help me to forgive, forget and love. Be with all those I love and hold dear. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
