True Love

As you may know, I am reading the Purpose Driven Life and yesterday's topic was on love. I found the timing to be perfect because that is something I had already be focusing on with some friends of mine. I really liked how Pastor Warren described love and how it is shown. I wanted to share with you some of these truths and hopefully, these words can bless you today.

Galatians 5:14 - The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Did you know that life is all about love? I want to quote a paragraph from Rick Warren's book for a moment. The reason is that I know more than one person that does not understand and is going through this in their life. A misunderstanding of love.

The Purpose Driven Life (pg 127) The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. Men, in particular, often don't understand this. Many have said to me, "I don't understand my wife and kids. I provide everything they need. What more could they want?" They want you! Your eyes, your ears, your time, your attention, your presence, your focus -- your time. Nothing can take the place of that.
The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says, "I value you enough to give you my most precious asset -- my time." Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love.....You can give without loving, but you can not love without giving.

There are so many good, deep points mentioned just in those two paragraphs. The entire chapter was full of good nuggets of information like that. I could go over much more but don't have the time and can't do it as well as Rick Warren did in chapter 16 of The Purpose Driven Life; I recommend this book by the way. A summary would be that Love is the most important gift we can give. Love is forever and without it, life is worthless. 1 Cor 13:3 "No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." The gift of love is a gift of our time and devotion. Time is something we never get back. Every minute that goes by brings you one minute closer to your last breath. We need to make the best of every moment.

Relationships are what life is all about and we need to be sure we make the best of them. It is not going to be your Xbox or other things you held dear in your life that you ask for on your deathbed, you will ask for those you love. Love is the greatest gift and the greatest commandment given to us by God. You need to read God's Word and seek a true and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ if you are to fully understand and comprehend love. It is not till you see as He sees that you can fully grasp the depth and scale of what is required. Oh to see and love as Jesus did. Imagine if everyone in the church loved unconditionally as Jesus did?!

Dear heavenly father, I come to you this morning with love on the mind. I know you sent your son to pay the ultimate sacrifice and lay down his life out of love for each of us. Help me to see through your eyes father. Help me to see the world and it's occupants in love. Teach me to love as you loved. Help me to grasp and understand the meaning of love and the truth of it all. God that I could be lost in your love to such an extent that it overflows into the lives of those around me. Take my selfishness and my ways God and transform my heart. I want a pure heart, full of love and compassion. Bless me today father, make me a vessel, use me I pray. Allow me to love unconditionally today and every day. May I be a light in the darkness reflecting truth and love. In Jesus name, Amen.

Did you know?

That question is so open ended that you could take it anywhere. But I have a specific purpose for asking it this morning. I had a long discussion last night with a friend of mine and we discussed some of the current failures of the church as evident in the lives of people that call themselves Christians. Oh God, bless me and speak through me today, this is so important.


An online dictionary I used shows Christian defined as the following:

1. Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.
2. Relating to or derived from Jesus or His teachings.
3. Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christlike.
4. Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.
5. Showing a loving concern for others; humane.

Did you know that being a Christian is to be Christlike? How many of us know Christians that fail to do this? Yes, we are imperfect beings, we are human. But wouldn't our life, actions and words reflect that of Christ if we were indeed walking in Him and with Him? Oh, I want to challenge you today...

God has placed in me a huge burden for the church and those that claim to be Christians. Why are Christians looked at as hypocrites? Why is the church so powerless today? I'll tell you why, people are not seeking God like they should. We live in a society that looks out for it's own interests. "What can God do for me today?" We go to church but a lot of us it is for the wrong reasons! Can I be real with you today? Wake Up!!!!

We are so blessed! God has given us, His children, Power and Authority! He has given us the power through the Holy Spirit to perform miracles! Why are so many sermons scripted? Why are so many Christians in a routine that will never bring them real, true intimacy in Christ? Is your cup half empty or half full? Jesus wants all of us! Not the part we bring him on Sunday, not the part we share with other Christians so we look like such good people with no problems at all.

God works through tribulation, He works in problems. It is when I am weak that I am made strong! So why is the church and its people so fake? Not all churches are like that, but there is enough of them that I believe people are missing the point here. The power of the living, Holy Spirit of God wants to infiltrate and penetrate your very being. He wants to intimately know and be a part of every aspect of your life. If we as Christians could understand this, if we could learn to let go and let God, we would see the church arise a new.

We are trying too hard people, we are trying to do what God wants rather than allowing God to do what He wants. We are the ones limiting God and what He wants to do in our lives and those around us. I truly believe that God wants to reveal Himself to you. He wants to show you He is the man, your father, your daddy and that he has your back, but will you let Him?

Did you know, we can do all things through Christ? Did you know, there is NO LIMIT to God's power, mercy and grace? Did you know, that God wants to use you today if you will let him? Did you know, that God loves you more than anything and wants to prove himself to you, if you only ask and believe? Praise God! With faith like a child...Do you know what that means? A child believes what they are told, they don't question it. Mommy, daddy said it is true, I believe them. What faith, what power can be yours if you only believe it. Lift your hands to heaven this morning and commit your life to God. Not just Sundays, not just Wednesdays, not just when it feels good or feels right, but all of it.

I want to challenge you today to spend 15 to 30 minutes every morning in prayer with God. He says His sheep hear his voice (yes, He does speak to us). How can you operate in the miraculous power of the living God and Holy Spirit if you do not hear His voice? Seek and you shall find. Ask Him to give you the desire to seek Him. To give you a pure heart and one that yearns for Him. He planted in us the desire for the unknown, we just look in all the wrong places. Seek Him as for hidden treasure, you will find Him. Once you understand, once you taste what God has in store for you; you will never look back. God is good people, He loves you today, He wants you to look to him instead of the world for your answers. Do it today, please, do it today. It is time we as Christians stand up and lay claim to our God given inheritance.

PE-5: Update (Where have I been?)

This personal entry is just to catch everyone up on the past 10+ days I have not posted. I'll start with the weekend prior to this last (5/16, 5/17).

I had my step-brother and his wife over that weekend. We had a really good time and I think God was really working in their hearts. They are going through some rough patches and God was using me to work in their relationship. Considering I have some fresh insight, I was able to work with both of them together and individually.

On Sat, we went to Table Rock Dam and on some of my old stomping grounds (my wife and I used to go here back in the day). We also went to C of O. That place has really changed but at the same time it has remained the same. My heart was being moved heavily by all the memories that flooded me and my emotions. From the spot I was playing football as my would-be-wife looked on; to the chapel steps where she flirted with me. I walked out to the point, nothing but memories. I walked behind the library towards the old art building and to the point I sat on when I prayed for my wife (before I knew her). I stood there for a while. I cried, I prayed, I reminisced. To say I love her would be a tremendous understatement.

My step brother, his wife and I watched Fireproof and spent a lot of time together that weekend and after they left on Sunday evening, I felt kind of lonely. Monday,I had to be in town and I saw an Angel for the second time since March 19th. Oh yeah, you know what and who I am talking about. It was so hard to not acknowledge her. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do. She means so much to me yet she can show me no emotion at all and I have to take it. Oh, it hurts God, it hurts. I spent the rest of the week faltering.

Though that weekend was a blessing, I missed my personal time with God. Then Monday, I did not get it either. By Monday night, Tuesday, I was in pieces. I spent this past week digging myself out this emotional pit I dug myself into. I did not want to write to this blog without my heart being right. I made a couple of posts to my wife and children, but I could not do more than that. My vision was being skewed by my emotions and I can not properly minister or share with others with that being the case. I did what I felt was the smartest and wisest thing and that was to get myself and my emotions straightened out. I still do not feel 100% but I am doing much better than I was.

With that being said, I would like to say you can expect more entries again and hopefully I can be an encouragement and blessing to you in some way, shape or form. I do want to be up front and honest that I want my wife and children to one day read this blog and it to bless them as well. I will add my personal beliefs and I will be including them a lot. Hopefully, this can add a personal touch though that can help you relate to what I am discussing and my feelings.

I AM PASSIONATE about God. When I write to you, when I write to this blog, it is from my heart. It is not just scripted works, it is not to get followers, it is not to get respect, it is not for anything other than the written praise and worship from my heart to God. This may include my family as well, but you can accept that or you can go to another blog. What you will see here is real and from the heart. If you seek reality, if you seek passion, if you seek truth, you have found a good blog for that. You will get nothing but. God bless you today. I will try and post something else soon. To my wife, friends, family - I love you guys with all my heart. I dedicate this blog to you and to God. May He be glorified and you be blessed. I praise You Jesus! Thank you for this opportunity, this privilege to share my heart, voice and spirit! I love you ~ Amen

To my children with love

I have not really discussed my children much, but I love and miss them dearly. One day I will be reunited with them, but I am missing and will miss so much. The pain of this, I can only bare through Christ. I love you my wonderful children. I pray for you everyday. As mom and grandparents continue to spoil you, I pray that God has His way in Your hearts and lives. Even if I must wait many years to see you again, know that I am here for you. I have not left you and I will not leave you. My heart cries out for you, but I have hope and faith that God will restore what has been ripped apart.

To my daughter - I love you angel, you are perfect in every way shape and form. You are just how God made you and He will bless you and your life. I am sorry for all you must go through but know it will not last. Whatever happens, know that daddy loves you so so so much. I will never let go of you. Seek God in everything you do. Make a promise to me to go to church and obtain an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Promise me you will remain pure. Promise me you will not let the system brainwash you. God is Love. He is Peace. His mercy and grace is there for you. Lean on Him please. Let Him be your Father in every way. He wants to be your Father/Daddy regardless. Please, promise me you will seek God with all your heart. Find a good youth group and church that loves God and teaches about the relationship and spirit of God. There is a day coming, very soon, that the young people of this world are going to take a stand in the power of the Holy Spirit and nothing, I repeat, nothing is going to get in the way of this. Seek Him my dear, seek Him with all that is in you. He will mend the hurt, take away the pain and give you peace and hope. I will always be with you, if nothing else, know that we are connected by blood and the Holy Spirit. I love you.

Although I may not get the opportunity to be there for you, know that in my heart, I am. You are perfect in my eyes, never let anyone tell you otherwise. You are a smart, wonderful, beautiful person; Remember that! If I can't be there in person for you or with you, this song is a representation of my heart and love for you. You are so special. There is only one you in this entire world. Draw near to God, if you have questions, ask; Make it a goal to go to church and to pray and to read your Bible even when you don't want to. God will bless you and your life. I love you.


To my Son - Son, I love you so very much. I feel bad for your sister that I favored you a lot of the time, but you were always so special to me. You are my boy and a precious gift from God. Both of you are so special. You are so young and impressionable still. I was looking forward to working with you this Spring and Summer on our list of projects around the house. I know you were so excited about getting to work on these with daddy. I am so sorry. You are such a sweet, well mannered boy. I pray by God's mercy I can watch you become a man. I want you to be the man of the house OK? Look after your mom and sister for me. You need to keep going to church and loving Jesus with all of your heart, mind, body and soul. He will lift you up and strengthen you where I can not.

One thing I told myself all my life was that I would be there for my wife and children. I would not let them go through what I did growing up, but I don't know if I can keep that promise any longer son. It is not by my will, but I made some bad choices at one point in my life and I am not sure of all the consequences of those choices yet. I do know our lives will never be the same. I know that I have a closeness with God that I want my family to have. Promise me you will draw close to Jesus son. Promise me. I always wanted a son and I am so very proud of you. I wish you could know how proud of you and your sister I really am. I know that God will look after you guys and see you through whatever lies ahead, but I can't tell you how easy or difficult it may be. Just trust in Him. I love you son. If for some reason I can't see you till you are a young man, know that I am with you in spirit. I will never forget or let go of any of you. If there is one thing you do for me, please, Seek Jesus with all your heart. Learn to lean on Him, trust Him and serve Him. He will take care of you. He will bless you son. I already miss the conversations we will miss, I already miss the council I could provide as you grow up. I don't want you to have to learn everything the hard way as I did son. I wanted so much to be there for you and be your anchor, I am so sorry. I love you so very much. I will do what I can to remain a part of your lives. If all else fails, we will see each other again on the other side. I love you so so so much. I thank God for all of you daily.


Prayer:
Oh dear heavenly Father, I come to you right now with a heavy heart. I have been so blessed by my children. I am so proud of them. It is difficult for me to be forced to let go of them. You know that I can not do that. I know I have made mistakes as a husband and father Lord; I know I am not a perfect person, but no one is. I have failed in so many ways yet outside of those failures, I was always a good husband and father. I would then and still today lay down my life for my family. Any of them. It hurts to think I may not get the chance to see them grow up. The chance to participate in any of their lives. This alone is far more difficult for me than any prison or jail time I could ever receive. Please Lord, bless my little ones. Hold them in Your arms. Be a Father to them where I can not. I know I had to learn to lean on You growing up but I did a lot on my own and learned a lot of lessons the hard way. My plan was to raise my children after Your heart Lord. I think we were making headway there but other problems arose. I just want to pray for them right now God, let them know that I love them. Let them know you are there for them. Let them know that I will never, by choice, leave them. Help them not to have bitterness, fault or blame. Help them their mother to stay focused on You. Bless her financially and spiritually. She needs to be twice as strong right now God. I love her and my children so very much. Please God, give them strength. Soften my children's heart for You Lord. Place a calling on their lives in ministry to you. Help them to focus on what is really important in life, You and the kingdom to come. Oh God, protect my family. I will pray for them every day for the rest of my life. They will always be with me no matter what. I love you children, I love you my wife.

I Love You - Wife

I would like to dedicate this to my wife right now. If it was up to me, I would have the 1 person I love most on this earth by my side. But circumstances outside of my control prevent this. I look ahead and would hope that one day, there is renewal. I made a covenant with my wife, not a contract. She is doing what she feels is necessary at this time, I can understand that. I just pray that God works in her heart or provides a means for us in some way, shape or form. I did not and do not take my relationship or marriage lightly. But understand she wants some form of normality which I may never be able to again provide her once all is said and done. Could you imagine making a mistake that even the most cherished person in your life would turn their back on you? Ouch... God has given me peace, yes. But only my wife can ever hold that spot(reserved for my spouse) in my heart. That is it. I do not know if that holds true for my wife and how she views me; we are not allowed to communicate. All I can do is pray for her as she divorces me. All I can do is ask God to renew, heal and mend what the system feels compelled to shatter.

No matter what happens my love, you are it for me. I can not, and this is by choice, allow anyone else in that spot. I don't want to replace my memories of you and my family with someone else. I don't care how much time goes by. I will wait 15 years if it means I can grow old with you. You are my first true love. You are my first in other areas as well (You know what I mean). You are the wife of my youth as Solomon puts it. I pledge my heart to no other woman. I pledge my life to no other woman. My fear is that you move on. I want you to be happy, but it is still hard to think about that. Just know, as soon as I can contact you, I will be. As soon as I can express my love to you, I will. I have hope that things can be mended; but I know there are a lot of factors at play including the company you will keep. I hope our marriage meant something to you as well and you are willing to try and make it work somehow despite all odds (even through divorce). I pray for that. I love you sweet heart, I love you so much. To me, what we had was special. I failed to express my love on so many levels but I loved you with all my heart. It wasn't till I drew close to God that so many things were revealed to me. I am a new man in every way. Free of addiction, free of bondage and my eyes have been opened. I don't know that I could ever give you that lake house with a dock but I vow to you, you would never, ever question my love for you again. I would make you the happiest woman in the world, that is a promise. Welcome to the new normal, I love you.

My apology as well:


Love is not a Fight:


To Make Her Love Me:

Circuit Court Arraignment Day - Inspiration

Circuit Court arraignment day. I have accepted the fact I may face many years in prison. But if that is the case, I have no doubt it is my mission field. I want to go where God wants me to be to do His will, not mine. "Give me strength today Father, use me and work through me. I love You and will stand by Your side wherever that may lead me."

I listened to a song this morning that was recommended by an anonymous post last night. I really like that song and think it is worth sharing. This should be every one's prayer right now. "I don't want to go through the motions; I don't want to go one more day; without Your all consuming passion inside of me, I don't want to spend my whole life asking, what if I had given everything? Instead of going through the motions." God Bless You today, draw close to Him and allow yourself to be used by Him. To do that, you will need to be consumed by Him and not the world, start now.

Matthew West - The Motions

Songs - Draw close to God today

Here are a couple of songs by Jeremy Riddle that just touch my heart over and over. Such a blessing! Listen to them and be blessed this morning, praise God! He wants to bless you this morning, He wants to be included on every single detail of your life today and the rest of your life. Draw close to Him...Love Him...He will bless you.

More than a friend


Sweetly Broken (At the cross You Beckoned me)

PE-4: Trial and Testing

How many of you know when you are being tested? Does this knowledge come over time or is it something that is God given? Is it earned? How do I know a trial or test from just a circumstance or situation?

Since mid-March I have been struggling with my relationship in Christ. For the most part, I have been close with Him and I have enjoyed the peace and joy of that on many occasions, but there was still something missing. I missed hearing the Holy Spirit. Knowing when or how to do something. So, despite my hours in prayer, reading and studying, I lacked. I was under constant attack because of it.

This week God revealed to me this area I was failing in yet I failed to realize it as a hindrance to my Christian walk. As I have been addressing that area, I have noticed a vast difference in how I feel and perceive things around me. My relationship with Christ seems much stronger alrady. This includes those things done to me, against me, etc. I feel more at peace, more connected and more alive. Not to mention, I am seeing God work around me.

This was day two that I have been addressing the area of worry, fear and doubt in my life. Today was much smoother than yesterday, but overall, both have been good days. What makes that a BIG statement is because some of the things I had to deal with today were amazingly difficult. I truly was amazed to see the difference in my actions and how I addressed the difficulties. Not to mention, how I felt during and after I faced these.

Another aspect of drawing closer to God and emptying ourselves of "our self" is that we allow God to work freely within and through our lives. Giving Him control in every detail allows Him to truly work and bless you and others. Today, I asked for God to use me, somehow, someway. Just when I thought I missed the opportunity or that nothing was presented, God put me in a situation to help someone. The person even stated that I was an answer to prayer. "Wow! Thank you God!" I won't go into details here, but I am just saying that I am only on day 2 and I am seeing God work in amazing ways. The timing was perfect, it was all meant to be. God is awesome.

Back to some of the difficulties I faced; I got some bad news and read some stuff that tore at my heart and hurt deeply (personal details). As if one or the other by itself wasn't enough, I got hit by both within the same 20 minutes. I wanted to react in frustration, but found I did not. I wanted to start worrying but instead, gave it to God. I found myself praying for the person and asking forgiveness for them rather than carry that bitterness. Wow! I mean, I felt like a new person doing that. God really took it all away and I felt love and compassion rather than anger or bitterness. I found myself wanting the best for them, wanting to be a blessing to them rather than thinking negatively.

I think God allows us to be stretched, He wants us to grow. He wants to see how we react to different situations. That is part of maturing in Christ. As we continue to grow, some of those challenges may increase; but never past the point of which we can bare. God is faithful and just. He will answer our prayers and He wants us to be happy. But that happiness is on His terms, not yours. Draw close to Him and give Him everything. I dare you to try it. Our God is an awesome God. He is a real God and one that works miracles. Trust in that and trust that He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. This becomes your faith.

The Revival Hymn

This is powerful. Take the 36 minutes to watch it. It is worth it. The ending is very powerful as well. Consider who it is you serve and why.

The Revival Hymn

PE-3: Fear and Worrying

I am pretty sure that, this morning, God has revealed to me my problem and why I am stuck in the mud so to speak. I listened to about 5 sermons already this morning all dealing with faith, fear and worrying. Here is the link: http://www.creflodollarministries.org/Broadcast/Broadcast.aspx I recommend "Faith Victory in Times of Crisis Pt 1 and 2" as well as "Faith Overcomes Fear Pt 1 and 2". Yes, there are many good ones on here so don't stop there. This is a church and a man on fire for God. Thank you to CVB for referring it to me. It was what I needed to hear this morning.

I was able to start my morning in prayer today and have been struggling trying to maintain specially after yesterday's event. Instead of staying focused on God I keep looking around and at my situation and circumstance and lose focus, hope and faith. I would like to say I don't lose faith but when we start to fear and doubt, we enable Satan to step in. Without fear, Satan has no power over us.

Phil 1:28 without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved -- and that by God.

This is saying to be frightened or terrified in nothing:

• No Fear means we can’t be terrified or frightened
• No fear is an evident token of your perdition
• Not even for a moment should you fear, don’t be frightened or intimidated
• It will be proof and seal of your enemies impending destruction
• The Devil gets scared when you are stone faced and not afraid, he can not touch you. It is proof they will lose and not you
• Your fearlessness will be a token of your deliverance and salvation
• Instead of crying you praise God. Instead of worrying you praise God, you have no fear
• Let the devil know that you know who is going to win this battle

Worry is meditating on the contrary to God’s word. It is meditating on lack. It is pondering that negative thing, considering it, rolling it over. It consumes you, you meditate on your unbelief, fears, worries and contrary to God’s word. You help create the depression, loneliness, the junk because you worry and meditate on it and worry and meditate on it. You feed it. It becomes manifested in your life.

Worry does create but it creates negative. Examine your life, what will you not let go of? You doubt God when you worry. Trust God to handle it not yourself.

Matt 6:25-34 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Summary: Quit worrying (“God can take care of me”) – There is no increase that comes in worrying except the negative. It will not change your situation for the better, it will make it worse. Release faith and positive meditation, not fear, worry or negative. It contradicts the Word of God and supports Satan’s agenda. You help him with impeding destruction if you worry. The Word will overcome. Turn to the Word and fight worrying with meditation on the Word. Can’t serve God in fear. Are you in bondage to people? Can you pick out what you want rather than what impresses others? How can you be free about what you preach etc? I am not in bondage. A lot of stress comes from people bondage, be free from people. Be free from what they think. If you have problems with your clothes, you have problems with your faith. Ask a question is good, but to ask in doubt?... Don’t ask in fear or doubt…if you do, fear and doubt exist. Question in worry and it is at fault. Just because thoughts come through your head doesn’t mean you have to sign for it. You do not have to linger or act on those thoughts. You can control thoughts with words.

Thought: “I am a failure”
- Word: “I am more than a conqueror”
Thought: “Oh Lord Jesus, We are not going to be able to make it”
- Word: “My God shall supply all my needs according to His glory”

God knows what we need. But we need to grow and develop. Allow the situations in life to become tools that will be used to develop above the circumstances and situations that surround us.

Prayer:
Father, it is so easy to become wrapped up in thoughts of fear, doubt and worry. This is amplified through complications, circumstances or situations that arise. But You're Word states we are to never fear. In doing so we open doors and avenues to be attacked. It is through fear and intimidation that Satan gains a foothold in our lives, hinders our walk with you and casts doubt on our faith. If I fear, doubt or worry about one thing, I am not completely trusting in You and You're Word. I limit Your ability to work through and in me by my own lack of faith. You are there, waiting on me, calling to me, but I fail to hear because of my own doubts and tribulations. Help me Jesus to overcome my fears, doubts and worries by your power and the Word of God. Help me to remember which I am on the winning team. Help me to remember that You promised to take care of my every need and have not given me a spirit of fear Romans 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." In You will I put my hope and trust. This is my prayer today Father God, remove all fear, doubt and worry from my being and fill me with hope, faith and love. You are an awesome God and I love You. In Jesus name ~ Amen

Lincoln Brewster - Everlasting God

Happy Mothers Day - Pt2

A Mother’s Love

Before a breath is ever drawn,
the bond within her grows.
A bond between mother and child,
that only mother knows.

Through pain she bares in suffering,
this love to which she’s tied.
The bond’s complete; behold her joy,
as man beholds his bride.

What greater love’s so innocent?
What love so sweet and pure?
This bond that God has given her,
is love that will endure.

Her job is just beginning though,
her child she now must raise.
Her purpose ever widening
She’s stretched in many ways.

It’s here she now must find her peace
It’s here her love must grow.
Despite her stress and lack of rest
Christ’s seed she now must sow.

Although it seems like such a task,
Impossible to some.
Know Christ will give her strength to stand,
And strength to overcome.

Her child’s true love is what’s at stake.
What will their heart desire?
Teach them now the ways of God,
and happiness acquire.


Happy Mothers Day!
All mothers are so very important! Remember that! God bless you and your purpose!

By: A Voice of Truth - mylifesongsings (@) gmail.com (EW)
Date: Sunday, May 10, 2009

Copyright 2009

Happy Mothers Day - Pt1

Mothers, do you know how very special you are? I am talking about all mothers here, not just one or two. You are very special and have the important task of raising children in the accordance with God's Word and His love. Not only this, most of you have the task of taking care of your husband as well. This is no easy feat and often leads you to your wits end. If only I knew last year what I know now. To all mothers, I want to say a big, huge, God bless you for all that you do. He knows your sacrifice regardless of the recognition you receive or do not receive. He knows your burden. God knows all and sees all. Raise your children after God's heart. This is one of the most important jobs in the country and the world. Children are impressionable, as a mother, this is your duty. The husband should play a vital role in this as well, but we all know most children have different bond with their mother and vice-versa. The mother carried her children. She nurtures her children with a love that some fathers never will or do understand. This is a true love a pure love.

Husbands, stop taking your wife for granted. Take the time to pray with her. Take the time to hold her hand, walk with her, talk with her, cherish her and never, ever, ever let her go. She is special and her purpose in the home and with your children is vital. If she is bitter, offer her your love and support. If she is hurting, be there for her, listen to her and tend to her needs. Stop trying to "do" so much and just be still. 5 minutes of silence in each others arms speaks volumes. All she really wants is you. God has given that desire to a woman, her desire is to please her husband. Show her you love her constantly. You don't do this by buying things for her, that is not true love. You do this by giving of yourself and your time to prove to her how much you love her. Love invokes action which means that if you love your wife and have a true, biblical love, you will do for your wife. Before she even asks, do things for her. Help with the kids, take the initiative to do the dishes a few times a week, take the trash out before she even notices it, surprise her with dinner or a date, be a blessing for her and to her. Realize that she is under a lot of pressure and strain just as much if not more so then you. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take her for granted ever.

It is easy after time to fall into a routine. These routines tend to dilute in most cases rather than strengthen. True, intimate love grows stronger with time, not weaker. Mothers, make it a priority to teach your children about God. Be wise in your actions. You are setting an example for them to follow. This goes both ways but the mother is so important and vital. Praise God for mothers that know their importance and their purpose. Husbands, help your wife in her purpose and she will bless you. Carry each others burdens and remember that love is not self seeking. Love is evident in actions. I failed to realize this to its full extent until it was too late. Please, draw close to God, seek your purpose in Him and above all learn to love as Christ also loved. In doing so, your marriage and children will be blessed beyond your wildest imagination. True love is yours for the taking, if you only seek it. Praise God for all of you mothers! I hope you know how much you are appreciated and loved. Mothers day should be a reckoning and a remembrance of how sacred the job and role of a mother is and how thankful everyone should be of that fact. Happy Mothers Day!

Songs - Phil Wickham (Love this guy)

I wanted to include a few of the many wonderful songs that Phil Wickham has written and composed. These are all acoustic. I hope they bless you as much as they do me.

Phil Wickham - "True Love" live - in studio


Phil Wickham - Hallelujah
Phil Wickham covering "Hallelujah" from his hotel room in Nashville.


Phil Wickham - I Will Wait for You There


Phil Wickham - Mystery

To my wife: Happy Mothers Day!

One more day, actually only a couple more hours till Mother's Day 2009. There are many women in my life and many I would like to wish a Happy Mothers day too, but there is one in particular that means more to me than the air I breathe. Tomorrow, I will make a Mothers Day Post but tonight, I want to focus on the one woman in my life that means everything to me. I miss her so much. I have learned and am learning to look to God for all my needs, but there is still a piece of me missing.

No, she has not moved on from this life (she did not pass away); but for her and I both, the reality is the same. This reality is that we can not communicate with each other or contact each other in any way shape or form. Imagine taking a love of over 12 years and immediately being cut off from it with no warning or notice; it is just gone. So, as you can see, I am grieving her.

Since I am not naming names and this is as anonymous as I am going to get (by choice and without jumping through all the hoops); I love you my angel. I love you more than anything on this earth. I will always love you. You hold a place in my heart that will wait for you as long as it has too. God is giving me the peace I need to make it through every day; when I think of you, I pray for you. I want you to know that you drawing close to God brings me so much joy. I have prayed if nothing else, that God draws you to Him and heals your heart and life.

Happy Mother's Day to you my dear, sweet wife. I am considering visiting a special place tomorrow. The exact spot I wrote a special letter to God in the summer of 1996 praying for "you" and asking for "you". In that letter, I asked God for my wife to be. I detailed her in every way and prayed earnestly for her. At the time, I did not know that it would be you; I didn't even know you. But, to know that very day, God moved in your life and directed you is testament that my prayer was heard and answered. You were and are "literally", everything I asked for. Don't ever forget that; no matter what happens or where you go, know that we are connected through God and have been from that day. You are the most amazing person I know. I am so sorry how everything has gone, it is not how we dreamed or planned it would be but I hold on to that hope.

Every thought of you I have is cherished, every memory is vivid. My life has been spread out before me and so many bad, sour spots were revealed. I know I have not been the man I should have been. I know I have failed in so many ways as a husband and father, but know that God has shown me where and what it was. Know that if I ever have the chance, I WILL love you as you have only been loved by God (beyond your wildest dreams or imaginations of what love is, could or should be). Love is not just an emotion, it invokes action. My love for you is undeniable and it is in this love I will nurture, strengthen, hold and cherish you. I want to grow old, with you by my side as my wife. I will never let go of you for you are a part of me. One day baby, one day, we will be together again. But it will be nothing like you remember, I promise.

I will call to you, I will court you, I will treat you as the princess you are. I will gain your love, respect and adoration. I will be patient and humble, I will wait on you. When the time is right, I will ask for your hand in marriage. It will be everything you could have ever dreamed it to be. From the ring to the moment. Oh, you are worth the wait my dear, you are worth the wait. Our love will only grow stronger in time. A true, majestic and beautiful love as designed by God. You will never need or desire anything of any other man as I will be that man. From a hopeless romantic to rugged outdoors man, I will be that man. When you need a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk too, someone to confide in, I will be that man. When you need prayer, counsel, advice or any other form of necessity, I will be that man. I will always be there for you, ALWAYS. I will not make the same mistakes twice, you are royalty in my eyes. You are my princess and I but a lowly peasant. I will place you on a pedestal and proclaim you to all. For you are worthy of nothing less. God has opened the eyes of my heart and teaches me daily about love. I Cor. 13 has a little bit to say about that.

I love you sweetheart. Please, hold on tight during this roller coaster ride we are on and look to God. We both know that God has a plan and purpose for everything. But I believe He takes into account our desires as well. I know I needed to learn to lean on Him and how to love. Whereas, you needed some things as well and I feel that God is working in both of us to make us new and whole in Him. He wants to complete this work in us; in His timing, we will be together again. I hope it can be in this life; oh how I pray for it to be in this life. But I know that I must trust in Him wherever that may lead and it may be in the next life that we are together again (Due to circumstances outside our control). My promise to you is that I will wait for you. I guess that is the best I can offer, but that should give you peace. You are and have always been the only woman for me. Until we see each other again (may be a long time, but only God knows this), don't lose heart or hope and don't forget about me. I look forward to that day with much anticipation. I love you my wife (I hope you don't mind if I call you my wife even after the forced divorce, because in my mind, heart and soul you are my wife and will always be my wife).

Happy Mothers Day! I Love You So Much!

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I really like this song and want you to hear it. The wounds are still fresh for me. I am not sure when you will see this blog or even find out about it, but know that I love you and miss you more than you know.

Mercy Me - Homesick

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

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Listen Here: Mercy Me - Homesick

PE-2: Thoughts...Status...

You know, I have been really busy this week. I took time yesterday to spend with God, just one-on-one rather than going to the morning Bible study group. I am glad I did this. I don't want to lose that closeness with my Father and I know that it is easy to let other things get in the way; even things that seem right can become a stumbling block. Since I was struggling emotionally, I thought it best to do what I did.

I ended up having a really good day after the fact and thank God for that. I started a new book Wed. night and I am a little over half way through it now. I am really enjoying it but will withhold the name of it for now. I am also starting day 6 of "The Purpose Driven Life" tomorrow. I am also doing the devotional that with it. This is a really good resource and I would recommend it to anyone that has yet to do it.

Everything else is just dealing with my "new" life and trying to make the best of it. God is really pulling through for me and giving me the strength to hold on and move forward. Every day is a new day and if I don't give it to God, every day becomes a difficult day. I have a lot of things weighing on my heart right now; but surprisingly, I have hope and peace that I know can only be from God. When I start to crack, I go to Him and He again, gives me peace. I am working on focusing on God throughout my day and in everything I do. I really notice differences in my behavior and my desires to do good for others out of love. It is amazing how just drawing close to God and learning to have an intimate relationship with our heavenly father will transform ones life. It changes how I view things as well as my own actions. I want to do for people, I want to help, I want to love. Thank You Jesus!

Prayer:
Dear Jesus, thank You so much for dying on the cross for me. I am so glad I serve a living God and one that will reveal Himself to me if I only ask. You are amazing! I am so blessed to know You and have a personal relationship with You! Please, use me Jesus. Help me to be a light to those that are hurting. Help me to welcome all without judgement Father. Help me to see everyone and everything through Your eyes. I love You so much and thank You for all You do for me. Continue to give me the strength I need to make it through each day, continue to bless my life and my family. Hold my family close to Your heart and let them know they are loved. Provide for their every need and touch them Father. Help them to draw close to You as well and provide them with strong Christians to help them in their walk so they stumble not. My faith and hope in You is all I have. I miss my children and my wife Lord, I miss them so much. Not knowing is the hardest part; please Lord, hold them in Your arms for me. Give them hugs and kisses for me and bless them. Thank You for hearing my prayer Jesus, I love You.

Song - There Will Be A Day

This is one of those songs that get me every time I listen to it. I just can't help but lose myself in it as I sing it to God. I eventually end up in a heap on the floor crying to God because I know one day, one day, He will take all this pain and hurt away and I will see his face.

---

There Will Be A Day - By: Jeremy Camp

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

(Chorus) There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more,
we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

(Chorus) There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more,
we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will
wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
Oh this is why this is why I sing

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more,
we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more,
we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day,
He will wipe away the tears,
He will wipe away the tears,
He will wipe away the tears,
There will be a day.

Hear it for yourself: There Will Be A Day ~ Jeremy Camp

Poem - Don't Blame Me (Lubeck, Germany)

"Ancient words of a centuries old poem carved in a gothic, medieval alphabet on a towering, ornate cathedral door right in the heart of Lubeck, Germany. Translated into modern English, the words take the form of a frightening poem. Here is what the poem says:" (Source - Twilight's Last Gleaming - By: Dr. Chuck Missler)


You call me eternal, then do not seek me
You call me fair, then do not love me
You call me gracious, then do not trust me
You call me just, then do not fear me
You call me life, then do not choose me
You call me light, then do not see me
You call me Lord, then do not respect me
You call me master, then do not obey me
You call me merciful, then do not thank me
You call me mighty, then do not honor me
You call me noble, then do not serve me
You call me rich, then do not ask me
You call me Savior, then do not praise me
You call me shepherd, then do not follow me
You call me the Way, then do not walk with me
You call me wise, then do not heed me
You call me Son of God, then do not worship me
When I condemn you, then do not blame me.

PE-1: Emotional Baggage

Today and most of yesterday I have been losing focus. A friend and brother in Christ called it to my attention. I have lost myself in my emotions and my actions both verbal and non-verbal reflect it. I know God gave us emotions for a reason and they are good and important, but to give into them and lose sight of what really matters is another thing. I have a mixture of anger, sadness, shame, guilt and a wide gamut of other emotions I am struggling with all at once. My situation and the reality I face tears my heart out and today I have given in to those emotions and I have literally been depressed all day. I managed to at least eat some dinner tonight.

Everyone needs true friends in their life that can be honest with them and help them regain focus on what is important. Although I feel my friend is harsh at times, I know his intentions and heart are good. Because of that, I can look unselfishly at his position and gain from it.

That being said, I am going to go back to my room in a few and spend some quality time with my Lord and Savior. It is so easy to lose hope or focus. It doesn't take much at all. Although I had spent at least an hour this morning in prayer and reading the Word, I was flailing by this evening. For that I am ashamed. My friend does not deserve that and nor does anyone else. It is hard to talk with someone that is looking inward and focused on negative and hurt rather than love and promise. I know God has given me hope and the promise of never leaving me or forsaking me, yet tonight, I lapsed. I am human and will make mistakes. The important part is I need to pick myself up and dust myself off and focus on what God has intended of me.

A Prayer:
Dear heavenly Father, thank You so much for all the blessings You have given me. Thank You for the gift of friendship and those that You have blessed me with for strength and encouragement. Forgive me for taking my eyes off of You this evening Lord. Forgive me for looking into the trials I must face and the reality of the situation and losing hope. Forgive me that I pulled my friend and brother into that storm with me. I am truly sorry and ask you give him peace Lord. I don't hold his reaction to me against him and I hope the same in return. Regardless of how everything originated, You know the trials I face and the pain I feel. Please give me peace Lord. I know You are the only one I can truly lean on right now and I know You are the only one that truly understands. Please help me to bridle my tongue and to focus on You rather than my emotions. Through You I will find the peace, joy and contentment necessary to carry on. My emotions and flesh work against me right now Lord and lead me astray. Guard my heart and surround me by Your Angels. I ask that you do the same for my loved ones Lord. Hold them close to You and bless them. Give them peace and joy. Protect them and reveal Yourself to them I pray, in Jesus name; Amen.

PE (Personal Entries - Description)

I want to state that I will be posting what I will call a PE (Personal Entry) a few times a week, maybe more. These entries will give some information on my status, struggles and walk in Christ. The whole purpose of these posts is to hopefully bless others through God's work in my life and also give credit where credit is due. Praise God - He is worthy, not I.

My first few PE's will probably focus on my status in Christ. This may include some of my relationships that have been formed, how and why they are important. They will include some details on how God is working in my heart, life and those around me. They will include some of my thoughts and desires as well. I may even start it out with my testimony (life changing). I hope it can provide encouragement and insight. My primary prayer and the burden on my heart is that everyone needs to draw close to God and experience a true, life changing relationship with a living God through Jesus Christ. Imagine what church would be if we as Christians actually drew close to God and worked according to the leading of the Holy Spirit rather than our own strength and works. I want to share personal stories, blessings and answers to prayer. Be still and know that He is God. He is alive; He is real; He is awesome! He loves all of us unconditionally, and calls us as Christians to do the same. Do you hear that church? Do you hear that Christians? What if all Christians loved unconditionally? What if all churches truly welcomed you with open arms out of unconditional love with no judgement? Wow...just wow! This is impossible unless we are walking in the spirit - personal relationship with God. We are not capable of forgiving and loving like that, thus the image the church and Christians are painted in by society today. As God reveals His love to you through a personal and active relationship, you can't help but love as He loves.

Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, I come before You this evening in humility but full of hope. I want to thank You for all the blessings in my life and how You answer prayers and touch my life daily. I ask You do the same for everyone I love, good or bad. Forgive those that counsel against me and bless them, touch their hearts and work in their lives. Reveal Yourself to them Lord I pray. Please allow my posts on this blog as well as communications with people you place in my life to encourage and inspire. Help me to stay humble and focused on the things that are important in my life. Help me to draw close to You daily; seeking both truth and renewal in my relationship with You. I know this is why I exist, to praise and worship You and follow Your will in my life. I am finding that this means I have to try and do less by my own strength and rely on You. The more I give up to You, it seems the more I see Your works in my life and those around me. I stand in awe of You my God. Continue Your work in my life. I have devoted myself wholly to You and Your purpose\calling. Use me I pray. In Jesus name, Amen.