I Love You - Wife

I would like to dedicate this to my wife right now. If it was up to me, I would have the 1 person I love most on this earth by my side. But circumstances outside of my control prevent this. I look ahead and would hope that one day, there is renewal. I made a covenant with my wife, not a contract. She is doing what she feels is necessary at this time, I can understand that. I just pray that God works in her heart or provides a means for us in some way, shape or form. I did not and do not take my relationship or marriage lightly. But understand she wants some form of normality which I may never be able to again provide her once all is said and done. Could you imagine making a mistake that even the most cherished person in your life would turn their back on you? Ouch... God has given me peace, yes. But only my wife can ever hold that spot(reserved for my spouse) in my heart. That is it. I do not know if that holds true for my wife and how she views me; we are not allowed to communicate. All I can do is pray for her as she divorces me. All I can do is ask God to renew, heal and mend what the system feels compelled to shatter.

No matter what happens my love, you are it for me. I can not, and this is by choice, allow anyone else in that spot. I don't want to replace my memories of you and my family with someone else. I don't care how much time goes by. I will wait 15 years if it means I can grow old with you. You are my first true love. You are my first in other areas as well (You know what I mean). You are the wife of my youth as Solomon puts it. I pledge my heart to no other woman. I pledge my life to no other woman. My fear is that you move on. I want you to be happy, but it is still hard to think about that. Just know, as soon as I can contact you, I will be. As soon as I can express my love to you, I will. I have hope that things can be mended; but I know there are a lot of factors at play including the company you will keep. I hope our marriage meant something to you as well and you are willing to try and make it work somehow despite all odds (even through divorce). I pray for that. I love you sweet heart, I love you so much. To me, what we had was special. I failed to express my love on so many levels but I loved you with all my heart. It wasn't till I drew close to God that so many things were revealed to me. I am a new man in every way. Free of addiction, free of bondage and my eyes have been opened. I don't know that I could ever give you that lake house with a dock but I vow to you, you would never, ever question my love for you again. I would make you the happiest woman in the world, that is a promise. Welcome to the new normal, I love you.

My apology as well:


Love is not a Fight:


To Make Her Love Me: