Merry Christmas

I wanted to send a shout out to everyone wishing you all a very merry Christmas. Today we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior. Take time today to thank Him for everything in your life. We have so much to be thankful for. I don't care who you are or what you are going through. He will never leave us or forsake us.

Enjoy this time with family and loved ones today. But remember why we celebrate Christmas and what it means to you and me. Thank you Jesus.

To my children, I love you both. You both are amazing and I thank God for you every day. I hope you have the best Christmas ever. I will forever hold you both in my heart and hope to be reunited as soon as is possible. I love you guys and I am so proud of you both. Merry Christmas.

Happy birthday

Today is a very special day. I want to say Happy Birthday to my first born. Daddy loves you very much and always will. Hope you had an excellent day.

What is Love? (a summary)

I would like to get where I post daily or every other day; but I want to try and focus on things that I feel need to be shared in order to encourage and uplift those that are willing to take the time to read my entries. It's about time for a good poem to be posted out here, so expect one sometime within this next week.

When you tell someone you love them, what does that mean to you? What does it mean to them? I want to take some time today to talk about Love. The reason is that it is so important. I think Love is the main indicator of our walk in Christ. As we learn to grow in Him, to trust Him and to love Him, He gives us the ability to give that out to others.

I encourage you to take a moment to read I Cor 13. I know you may know it already and have read it multiple times, but it is worth it to refresh yourself on what it means to love. What it looks like, what it feels like, how it treats self and others. I will include the chapter in this next paragraph, just skip if you are reading on your own.

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

There are many versus dealing with love in the Bible. I want to briefly bring it to everyone's attention though that Love is completely selfless. If we love, it will be seen in how we respond as well as our actions. If someone asks you to go out of your way for them, on the worst day they could ask it of you, how do you respond? Do you allow God to work through you as a vessel of love or do you act selfishly?

I have been working on this personally in my life. As you let go of self and let God, He will reveal himself in multiple ways. Some of those ways are to build that love, faith and new being He is creating you to be. If we can't handle the small trials and tests we face, how can we handle the big ones? Focus on Him today. Ensure you are keeping your eyes on Him. He will direct your path and see you through to the other side.

Happy Thanksgiving

I didn't make it online yesterday to post a Happy Thanksgiving note. So this is a day late. I want to wish everyone the best thanksgiving ever. I hope that everyone had a blessed day of fellowship with their families and loved ones.

This was the first thanksgiving that I have ever spent alone. It was very difficult and a struggle for me but my Lord and Savior gave me the strength to make it through. I wouldn't wish that loneliness on anyone in this world, yet hundreds and thousands of people were in that same position. Please, pray for them.

God has called us unto Him in a real, true and invigorating relationship that is not only amazing but passionate. I have experienced more growth this past week then I have in months. The passion and desire to follow and serve was there, but I think I was approaching it from the wrong perspective which hindered my growth.

I sought Father to heal, mend and to find my purpose in Him. Yet looking back, I was still acting out in self. Let me elaborate. Rather than looking to follow Him and allow Him through my relationship to work; I sought what I could do to feel useful and worthy to serve Him. I tried in my strength and understanding to draw near to Him.

I finished a book this week called "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore". That book was amazing. It challenged me on so many levels to seek Him differently. He hasn't asked anything of me but to draw into Him. Develop a true relationship and learn to trust Him on where he leads. So many walls have come down. The desire and passion burns so strong and this time, it is more real than it has ever been. I am finally seeking Him in truth outside of myself. Learning to lean on Him completely with no obligations to duty or purpose. Total freedom is ours through His grace and love.

Can you fathom a relationship that is so real and full of hope? One that you have total peace in everything as you learn to give all of your hopes, plans, desires, fears and thoughts to Father. I no longer need to feel like I HAVE to serve Him. It is a renewing that can only occur from the inside out.

Do you struggle with addiction? Do you struggle with truly hearing, sensing and feeling the Father anymore? Well stop trying. I know that sounds crazy, but stop trying so hard to fight these areas of your life. Instead, rest in peace at His feet. Draw close to Him and allow the Holy Spirit to radically change you from the inside out. That is the only way to find true freedom. A total denial of self. There is nothing I can ever do to earn Fathers love; nothing. No amount of church, Bible reading, sacrifice of time to a purpose we feel obligated to. Nothing we "DO" can create that relationship with Him.

You will find that as you learn to just let go and let God, He will begin changing you from the inside out. I don't have to try and fight a past addiction. I don't have to struggle in the areas I stumble. There is nothing I can do to change those areas of my life. The harder I try, the harder the cycle is to break. But in giving of myself to the simplicity of what Father has asked, "Draw close to me, you can never do anything to earn my love, I offer it to you freely", you will find freedom. Your heart, your passions, your desires begin to change and it is unexplainable the peace, hope and joy that brings into your life.

I so look forward to where God is taking me in my relationship with Him. He is creating in me a new man, with a new outlook on life that can only come from Him. His peace, His love, His promises are freely mine and yours if we only seek in honesty and truth. Desire that relationship. Even if you have to step away from everything you are doing in the church to do so. Stop trying so hard to please a God that has created us for that relationship in Him. As I have done so, I am seeing things so differently. Relationships have a different meaning. I do not desire, even for a moment the old habits, addictions and self created work ethic I had before. I am learning to bask in His presence and to be thankful in that alone. He will direct me, day to day, where he wants me to go and how He wants me to live, not I.

I challenge you today, stop trying to "Do" for God and start trying to relish the simple truth and true purpose you were created for. You will be amazed as you begin to act, think and desire differently. As the Holy Spirit and Father seize hold of your life and change you completely from the inside out. You will and can never be the same, ever.

Happy Thanksgiving and I love you all. May God bring you joy, peace and happiness in all that you do. He is amazing and His love for you is unfailing. Grasp what He has for you today, follower or not, grasp the simplicity of what He has asked of you.

Thank you Father for changing my heart. Thank you for showing me truth and how easy it is to draw close to You once I relinquish self. I tried so long to focus my passion and desire on what I felt you wanted to do. I tried so hard to find my purpose and the plan you had for me. But in doing so, I believe it kept me from truly embellishing and embracing Your true desire and purpose in my life. I act now out of passion and the new man you are creating from within. Nothing I can do or try to do will ever be enough. Thank You for showing me this truth. Thank You for loving me and allowing me to grow in my relationship with You. In You I have everything I need in all truth. Thank You Father, I love you. In Jesus name ~ Amen.

Happy Birthday Son

Today is a very special day to me. It is the day I celebrate the birth of my son. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him. I used to give him a great big hug every morning before he went off to school. He is precious to me and oh so special. I pray that God blesses him tremendously in everything he does. Today, a special blessing for his birthday.

I miss you son. I love you with all of my heart. I pray that you are seeking God and drawing close to Him. I pray God blesses the very air you breathe for the rest of your life. One day son, one day we will be reunited. What a glorious day that will be.

Thank you Father God for the brief time I had with my child. Be with him and bless him as he grows into a man. Bless every endeavor, thought and action. Help him to be a man of honor and integrity. Teach him how to love and what it means to be a real man. Help him to be an example to all who come in contact with him. Knowing him, he was a perfect example of true love. Thank you so much for the time I had. I ask for many more but do not know when that will be. God touch him right now. Let him know I love him with all that is in me. Thank you Father. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Happy Birthday son, my one and only son. I love you and will always love you. You are always with me and in my heart. I cherish every moment and memory. God bless you.

Reading, learning, growing

It has been some time since I have last written to my blog. Circumstances have changed somewhat and I don't have quite the access to blog as I had previously. Regardless, this is an important tool and instrument to me and for me so there is no excuse for the 3 months of nothing.

I have been spending some time in a book called "So you don't want to go to church anymore?" I am finding this book to be a treasure. It calls us back to the simplicity of what our relationship in Christ should be. Every time I pick it up and read another chapter, I am wowed by yet another example of what I and many other Christians would call the norm. Yet, I am challenged by this book to look at it differently. Simply amazing. I strongly recommend you read this book. You will not regret it.

Also, starting on a new devotional, the prayer of Jabez devotional. So far, it is good. I will probably be going over the book again as well, it has been many years. Hope everyone (not sure how many follow this) is doing well. I look forward to getting on here more often and sharing more from my heart and life. Take care and God bless you.

PE 13 - Coping with hate and fear

Do you ever sit and just wonder in awe at the God of the heavens and earth; the one, the only, the single person or entity that we can truly trust, love and depend on? As the storm continues to rage about me, my faith does not waiver but my actions, my hope, my desire fades. Why is it that this is the case? Why is it a constant battle? A constant struggle and fight to maintain balance and survive? As one giant crumbles, three more arise to take its place.

I hope with all that is in me at the prospects that lie before me. But all seems impossible without God. My friends, my family turn against me. Those I thought I could trust, turn their backs on me. Even those that call themselves Christians, judge the unknown. I stand before man, judged; Am I unworthy of love? Am I unworthy of affection? Do I throw my hands in the air and give up? They say yes, all is lost.

All is pointless they say, all is meaningless. Hope? There is no hope. I must awake from my fairy tale, my dreams for something better, my hope that God does answer prayer. That my God is looking over me, that he wants to and will perform miracles. Why do those around me pull me down in their doubts and hate? Why am I shackled by their foolishness? Their pessimistic, snobbery makes my stomach turn. Why my Father? Why is it such a burden I bare? My heart and soul are broken.

Dear heavenly Father, I call upon you early this morning. Today, well, today was a fight for my sanity. I am not sure I can bare the pressures upon me. I have allowed hate and anger to burn in me today and it nearly overtook me. Why Lord? Why am I so fragile? Why is it so difficult to stand sometimes? I am feeble and unworthy of you. Yet I know you love me and hold your arms out and welcome me. Why my God, why? Please, give me peace. My heart and soul long for you. I need your guidance Lord, I need you to quicken my body to face the multiple trials that lie ahead of me. Help me to love my enemy and those that hurt me. Please Lord, this is my biggest struggle. Please help me to forgive, forget and love. Be with all those I love and hold dear. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Captivated (Poem)

It is the dawn of a new day. The peaks aglow as fiery embers, the suns good morning kiss. The waves crash upon the shore; the sand welcomes a watery embrace. Darkness flees and shadows fail as the light penetrates. The clouds in the skies above give way. The snow capped mountain stretches itself toward heaven in absolute splendor. In the stillness, in the calm; I feel His presence upon me. The wind whispers His wonders the land echoes His majesty. My eyes behold such beauty before me; my soul cries out in ecstasy. You my God, my King; You are in all things. For Your pleasure was I created, for Your purpose was I designed. How amazing, how wonderful, how beautiful; I’m consumed by passion. My heart desires intimacy; my life is not my own. Behold, I stand before the maker of the heavens and the earth; He hears my cry. Oh God that I may love as you have loved. To see as You have seen. May I walk as you have walked. May I be forever captivated by the works of Your hand. May God forever be glorified; my spirit burns for You my God. My spirit burns for You. My lifesong sings to You. I stand in awe of You; in awe of You. My hands lifted toward the heavens; your word like honey on my lips. I praise the one, true, living God, Jehovah.

~ EW A Voice of Truth
07/11/2009

A Test of Faith (Short Story)

A Test of Faith
     Gripped by fear, Jacob’s mind was racing. “This can’t be happening”, he thought to himself. “Have I not been the best husband I can be? Have I not given everything, sacrificed everything?”
     Beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead as he jogged his usual trail circling the lake near his home. “I have given it all to you God, all of it.” He said into the morning air. “Why is it all falling apart? Why now? I don’t understand?”
     Jacob came here often for solace and to collect his thoughts. He usually went to secluded spots along the trail where he could spend time in prayer and refocus himself on God’s will and purpose. Today, he needed an answer from God more than anything.
     Jacob jogged to his favorite spot along the trail which opened to a clearing that overlooked the lake below. He loved the view from this ridge and he found it stirred his spirit greatly. With the sun just starting to peak above the tree line to his right, Jacob starred at the water. It was so calm and beautiful. Like a mirror or giant sheet of glass collecting images from all around reflecting itself for all to see and marvel. A light fog still kissed the surface.
     The pines lining the shore stood tall and magnificent. The morning dew glistened in the sunlight. The bright blue sky reflecting off the water, revealed the few clouds drifting overhead. Jacob took his favorite seat on the rock that jutted four or five feet out over the face of the ledge. Everything was perfect.
     “Father”, Jacob started to pray, “I sit here in awe of who you are. I am mesmerized and captivated by the work of your hands. Words can’t begin to express how I feel right now, in this very moment. But my heart is broken. I have been faithful to you my God; I have dedicated my very life to you. How can this be? How can you allow this to happen, how? I am hurt, I am so confused. I can not begin to fathom your ways dear Lord, I can not begin to understand your will. I have always trusted you but I feel so lost. Please Lord, reveal yourself to me. Give me peace, hope and understanding. I love her so much; please God, have mercy on me. Please, show me your will, your purpose my king…”
     With tears forming in his eyes, Jacob continued to stare at the glassy water below as he prayed. He sensed the presence of the Holy Spirit, but felt little comfort because of his circumstance. A peace began to settle on Jacob as the tranquility of his surroundings enveloped him. The Holy Spirit was with him, he knew it, but Jacob was broken.
     After a few minutes of praying like this, Jacob sensed in his spirit, a still, small voice that he knew was not his own.
     “Is my love not evident?” the voice stated. “Behold what beauty I lay before your eyes; behold what splendor; I did this for you today. This is a special gift just for you. ”
     Jacob began to cry, “Oh Father, I do trust you I do. I just don’t understand why…”
     “You do not need to understand.” the voice stated.
     “But what do I do? How do I approach her? What do I say?” Jacob asked.
     The voice responded, “If you trust me, why do you fear? Am I not capable of all things? Am I not sovereign? You say you trust me but your heart fears what you do not know. Be still, I am with you. You have no reason to fear.”
     “I am so sorry”, Jacob sobbed, “I am so very sorry.”
     The voice continued, “Jacob, I love you my child. I have so many great things in store for you. All will be revealed to you in due time, but do not get ahead of yourself. My plan, my purpose, my timing is perfect. I will heal, restore and make all things new. But it must be according to my Will. Lives will be transformed and my name will be glorified. Remember in Matthew 6:34 ‘Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’ Give me your hurt, give me your desires, give me your plans and I will set every path straight. I will make the impossible, possible.”
     “Thank you Jesus”, Jacob whispered over and over as he sat there weeping in the presence of God. “How could I have doubted you Lord? I love you so much, I trust in you and give you praise. You are holy God, you are holy!”
     “Get up”, the voice requested, “Get up and go to your wife. Comfort her as I comfort you, hold her, love her and be there for her. You are my children; I will be with you both and I will never leave. Nothing can separate you from my love.”
     As the thought entered his head, Jacob acted. He began to run as fast as he could until he reached his vehicle. Completely out of breath, he climbed inside, started the engine and headed home.

     Allison sat alone on the corner of her bed. Clothes and other personal affects covered the bedroom floor. She was going through all her stuff determining what she wanted to pack in her medium sized travel bag. Her marriage has been good but she can’t bare the thought of what might have happened. She can’t face her husband the same way, she is ashamed.

----------

     Last night, Allison went out with a couple of friends to a concert. She did a lot of drinking and the rest of the evening was a blur. When she awoke this morning, she was in someone else’s home, in someone else’s bed. She had no idea she was even capable of something like this, but here she was. Confused, upset and ashamed with herself, she did the only thing she could think of at the time, she called home and talked to her husband.
     “Jacob?” She said as the phone picked up on the other end.
     “Allison?” Jacob responded, “Where have you been? I have been so worried about you. I haven’t been able to get a hold of you or your friends all night. Is everything ok? Are you safe?”
     “I don’t know” Allison said, “I am not sure where I am and I can’t really remember anything about the evening. I awoke a few minutes ago and I am in a house I do not recognize.”
     “What do you mean?” Jacob interrupted, his voice concerned yet calm. Jacob has always trusted his wife, there was no reason, in his mind, to doubt or question her faithfulness to him or their marriage.
     “I’m scared Jacob, I don’t remember.” Allison stated as she began cry. “I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage or relationship. But I do not know how I ended up here. The only thing I can remember before everything got hazy was Jackie and I having a few drinks at the concert. We were talking with a couple of guys but I wasn’t interested in going there, I am married and take that seriously.”
     “So you are at some guy’s house right now that you don’t even know or remember?” Jacob’s voice at this time reflected anger, betrayal and jealousy. “How could you do that?”
     Allison replied, “I don’t know what’s going on Jacob, I do not know. I am so confused, I am so sorry. I just don’t know. I am leaving now and heading home, I am so sorry.”
     Jacob was emotional and upset by this point, he said, “Well don’t expect me to be here when you return, I need some time. I just can’t believe this, I need some time. I can’t believe you would do something like this.”
     Allison tried to reply but realized that Jacob had hung up on her. Still crying and upset, she finished getting dressed and headed home.

----------

     With her bag almost packed, Allison could stand it no longer. She slid off the bed to her knees and began to sob uncontrollably. She raised her hands in the air and lifted her eyes toward the ceiling.
     It has been a few years since Allison has really talked with God. She does a great job going through the motions for her husband’s sake, but she knows her relationship with God has been troubled if existent at all.
     Tears streamed down Allison’s cheeks as she started to pray. “Oh heavenly Father, I do not know what happened last night. I do not know what I may have done, but please Lord please, I love my husband. I know I have not been the best wife these past few years; I know I have neglected my relationship with you. Please God, please forgive me. I am so sorry. Forgive me for turning my back on you, forgive me for ignoring you. I do believe in your son Jesus Christ. I do believe you sent him to die for my sins. I believe in the cross and the significance of what Jesus did for me and the sacrifice that was made for me; because you love me, because you desire a relationship with me. Please Lord, please forgive me; draw me close to you, help me to hear your voice again father and to know your ways. Please bring reconciliation and healing to my relationship. Please, no matter what happened, heal my marriage. Help me be the wife my husband deserves. I am so sorry my God, I am so sorry.”
     Allison heard some rustling near the bedroom door and looked up through teary eyes and running makeup. Jacob stood in the doorway, his shirt still sweaty from his run.
     “How long have you been standing there?” Allison asked while trying to wipe the tears from her eyes and straighten herself up. She was slightly embarrassed that he had walked in on her at this vulnerable moment.
     “Long enough”, Jacob responded, “Long enough”.
     Jacob walked over to Allison, got down on his knees and embraced her. They both began crying and apologizing to each other. Their love was rekindled, their hope was restored. No matter what the case, Jacob knew in his heart he would forgive his wife. He loved her with all his heart and knew that God’s plan was going to be fulfilled. He would be the husband God called him to be.
     Within moments, the phone rang, Jacob answered. “Hello?”
     “Jake! Hey, this is Jackie! Is Allison there by any chance?”
     “Yeah, hold on a sec.”
     Jacob handed the phone to Allison. “Hello?” Allison asked.
     “Hey girl, it’s Jackie, where did you go?”
     “What do you mean? Where did I go?”
     Jackie replied with an answer that confused Allison even more than she was already. “I went to pick up some breakfast for us this morning and when I came back, you were gone.”
     “You went to pick breakfast up for us? I am confused, where were we and why were we there?” Allison asked.
     “Oh boy, you were wasted last night weren’t you?” Jackie laughed. “There were a couple of guys hitting on us at the concert last night and neither of us wanted anything to do with them. We had a few more drinks though anyways and discussed our plans for the rest of the evening. I always could handle my liquor better than you could!” Jackie continued, “Anyways, we decided to go to friend of mines place near the lake so we could spend the day at the lake today. They are gone for the week and said I could use it anytime. Sounded like a good plan last night.”
     “So we didn’t go home with the guys last night?” Allison asked. Her eyes brightened and Jacob could see her expression change to that of hope and disbelief.
     “No Silly!!! We were going to have a girl’s day out! You honestly don’t remember that?” Jackie asked.
     “No! I had no clue!” Allison replied.
     “Well, when I got up this morning, you were still sleeping so I thought I would surprise you with fresh coffee and breakfast. I left to pick us up some breakfast bagels and Starbucks. When I returned, you were gone. So, I am finally getting around to trying your house since I tried your cell phone with no luck.”
     “So, you are telling me that it was just us two at that house, no one else.”
     “Are you ok?” Jackie asked as she started to laugh again. “Why do you keep asking me that? Yes, it was just us! Thanks for nothing though! See if I make plans with you again after we have been drinking!”
     “Oh Jackie, thank you so much!” Allison bellowed in relief. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
     “OK, what did I miss?” Jackie asked.
     “I thought I ended up at one of those guys’s house last night. I had no idea.”
     “Oh you poor thing”, Jackie replied, “how horrible! No wonder you are so upset!”
     “You have no idea how upset I was. I was so confused and thought I had done something terrible that I could never forgive myself for. Thank you so much for the good news!”
     “Your welcome” Jackie replied. “Does this mean that we are not hanging out at the lake all day though?”
     “Unfortunately, I am going to have to take a rain check on this one Jackie. Thank you so much though, you are a good friend.”
     “Your welcome babe, what are friends for? Call me later ok?”
     “I sure will Jackie, thanks again.”
     “No problem!” Jackie said and hung up the phone.
     “Did you hear that Jacob? Did you?” Allison asked excitedly.
     “I did baby I did. I love you so much!” Jacob said as he embraced her again.
     “I love you too Jacob. This will never happen again. I am done going out to concerts and drinking. I love you too much and I have just rededicated my life to God. Things are going to be different around here from now on. I am sorry for putting you through all this and I am sorry for the past few years. I am going to live my life for God from now on.”
     “I’m glad you said that”, Jacob said lovingly, “God revealed to me some wonderful things while I was out and one of those things was that I needed to be there for you. Regardless, I needed to be there for you. I didn’t question it. Even though I thought the worst at that point, I didn’t doubt God and his purpose or plan in all of this. I was ready to act and follow him. Seeing how things are turning out, I had no reason to doubt to begin with.”
     “God is awesome isn’t he?” Allison stated as a question for confirmation from Jacob.
     “He sure is.” Jacob responded.
     Jacob and Allison spent the remainder of the day in each other’s arms. They knew they had just been given a second chance. That God had spared them the pain that could have been if things had turned out differently. They rededicated their lives to each other and to God. They vowed to pray together and love each other as Christ loved the church. A biblical love and passion that only comes through knowing Christ and his love for us. Through their faith, God did as he promised, he was faithful.
     Soon after, Jacob and Allison were led into mission ministries where God greatly blessed them. Many lives were touched, hearts changed and souls saved through their acts of obedience and faith in God.

(This story is not to be reproduced without written request/permission and approval)

     ~ EW - A Voice of Truth.


     This story was written as a test of faith. As you face something that is taking place in your life, where do you turn? How do you act? This couple could have turned on each other; they could have caused emotional damage that is difficult to repair. But they turned to God. In doing so, God blessed their relationship. In their faithfulness, they were blessed and put in the position to bless others. Draw close to God today. Seek His will, His plan and His purpose for your life. He sees the big picture and has you in mind the entire time. Walk in Him and He will keep you from falling.

Coffee and some R&R

I am just sitting here at Panera Bread, drinking some good coffee, listening to good music and resting in God's peace. I'm thinking on how good our God really is. How amazing are His ways? I look at how His hand is in all things.

One of the things I really enjoy doing, and do quite a bit, is look at how God has worked in things. During the storm, trial, difficulty we can't see ending thereof. It is so easy to get lost in the hopelessness we feel. As I look, I can see Him work almost daily and I truly stand amazed. The more I lean on Him and trust in Him, the more I see Him at work and that along brings peace, comfort and hope. Our God is an awesome God and I can begin to fathom the entire scope of what He is doing. But I can say that I trust Him 100% and that so many lives are being changed, touched and blessed by this.

We must never lose hope and never doubt that He will see us through. His will, plan and purpose in this will be revealed in do time. I have no doubt in this and that He will be glorified. God, You are my God; and I will always love You.

Lord, I love You so very much. I trust You with everything in my life. My friendships, finances, troubles, grief, love, hope, my past, present and future is all in Your hands my God. I have let go, I have given it to you. My fears and doubts I have given to you. My hopes and dreams I have given to you. I know I can rest in You and be safe, protected and blessed in everything. I lift my heart and my hands up to You God. I belong to You. May Your will and purpose be done. I will stand and watch amazed at your faithfulness and how You are working in all things. You are awesome and I love you. In Jesus name, Amen

You Make All Things New (Song)

You Make All Things New

Before I took my first breath Lord
You knew just what I’d do.
You pre-destined me to failure
so that I could rise anew.
In my weakness I’m made stronger, Lord
I know You’ll see it through.
Cause this work You’ve started in me
is transforming me to You.

In my pain
In my brokenness
Though I’ve lost everything
I still have You.
The ones I love
Have been stripped away
And I have nothing Lord
Except for You.

So Lord give me strength
Give me hope to endure.
Change this heart of mine
Remold it, make it pure.
May this life I lead
Change hearts God and renew.
For Your grace it sets me free
You make all things new.

~ EW - A Voice of Truth 04/01/09

I Love You Jesus –
Lord, from my heart to You
May You bless all those who read/sing this song.

A Prayer of Praise

Father, I praise You. You are amazing. Your works are splendid. Your ways beyond reproof. Your love is unconditional, Your peace bypasses understanding. None can compare to You oh Lord. Your blessings sustain me, Your Spirit comforts me. You smile upon me though I am a sinner. Undeserving of anything from you, yet Your grace and mercy in abundance flow. You give sight to the blind and heal the sick. You free the prisoner and the slave. I search Your ways and find nothing but goodness. You give joy in simple acts of obedience. You change hearts and renew. You purify and cleanse all who ask in honesty and humility. By faith we are made free and set apart. Covered in the blood of the Lamb, Your only begotten son Jesus Christ. I praise You for Your works oh God. I praise You for all you have created. I praise You for setting this captive free. My heart and soul are Yours. God, take this vessel and use it to Your glory. Not my will Lord, but Yours be done. May my mind, body, spirit praise You forever more. May Your song of praise be on my lips. May I desire You constantly, always drawing nearer. My spirit yearns to follow You. My heart is full of love. Bless this life I lead and may it glorify You in every way. If You can use anything Lord, You can use me. I, Your servant, humbly submit my life to You in every way, shape and form. Draw me close to You and use me God. May Your name be glorified forever and ever. For You are Holy, mighty and merciful; Praise God! ~ Amen

~ EW - A Voice of Truth 04/13/09

The Path (Poem)

The Path

I'm longing for what could have been
desires flood my mind
I look to God and start to pray
in hopes I can unwind

A vision stirs inside my soul
as many paths revealed
I seek my purpose want your will
Lord show me what's concealed

A tranquil peace envelopes me
my heart begins to race
I sense your presence, feel your touch
Your breath's upon my face

I close my eyes and lift my hands
My knees go to the ground
I'm speechless now as time stands still
Your word's the only sound

I offer up my very life
in brokenness I plead
my Savior, God, my Lord my King
I'll go if you will lead

So lead me, guide me, show the way
Your servant I will be
I'll walk the path you've set for me
In love and honesty

I'll praise your name throughout the earth
I'll worship you my king
A sweet love song a melody
To You forever sing

By: EW (aka - Voice of Truth - aka MyLifesongSings) 07/02/09


Last night I sat here and felt the urge to write. It wasn't coming very easily but I felt it was Spirit led and inspired. My writings, my poetry are all intended to glorify my God and King. They are also intended to inspire, uplift and encourage. Outside of the few personal entries I make, I hope you find this to be true.

Often, I feel there is so much I want to say to my Heavenly Father but can't even begin to express what's on my heart. I can't lift my hands high enough, I can't sing loud enough, I feel trapped while my Spirit burns within me for so much more. A flame, a burning desire for my God, my savior.

Oh Holy Spirit, lead me. I want to be lost in your love oh God; to be consumed by your presence; to be transformed by your Word. You amaze me and I stand in awe struck wonder of you. I offer my life and everything I am or will be to You. It is yours my God, it is yours. Bless me as I walk the path you've set before me. Give me strength and direction. Let not my foot slip upon the rocks nor my mind succumb to the pressures against me. You, my God and King, are victorious. You are the one true living God and I worship you. You are holy my God, you are holy. Touch the lives of every single person I come in contact with Lord. I want to be used by You. I am your vessel, your servant and I give myself to you. I want my life to make a difference, one that matters. Bless my friends and acquaintances. Lord I lift up the ones that are hurting and ask a special blessing on their lives. You have a plan and purpose for all of us. If we seek it, we will find it. Thank you God for my life, thank you for loving me. I praise you! In my hurt I praise you! I know it is all in Your hands and wherever you lead me, I will follow. In Jesus name I pray these things. ~Amen

PE12 - This one goes out to the one I love

Bryan Adams - Everything I Do

Bryan Adams - Please Forgive Me

Steven Curtis Chapman - I Will Be Here

Earth Angel


My dearest wife, I will always love you and I will always be here for you. Remember that. I love you so very much my beautiful angel, I love you so very much. Nothing can take that away from me, nothing.

PE11 - It's not a good night

I have been a bit busy this week so that is why there have been no posts (in case you were wondering). Past couple of days I got mail that I kind of expected to come eventually, but it does not make it any easier for me to handle; I haven't been able to stop thinking about my wife and my children.

I keep wanting to pinch myself to see if I am dreaming; I want to wake up....I want to wake up. I must stay strong, I must hold on to God and His promises. I feel like everything is slipping through my fingers. Like a wrestler getting pounced on from the high rope; I start lifting myself up off the mat just a little bit and I get crushed..over and over and over and over again. No time for air, just crush him, kick him, beat him .... kill him.

If I look at everything from a worldly perspective, there is no hope. There is none. As if everything else wasn't bad enough; I can't do this. I can't do it. How am I supposed to fight my wife? I can't even afford to do so even if I wanted to. I'm having a breakdown right now. They estimate my salary about 1000 more than what I am making right now a month. They allege I have done nothing to help. Although I gave up everything including all my accounts, severances and everything! What do they expect from me? Why do they lie and plot against me! Why?

God, I do not understand. I feel so alone right now. I'm miserable where I am at. But I can't do anything about it. I have no personal space, no respect, $7 in my checking account and I have nothing. I make less now in a 40 hour work week (if I can get more than 15 - 20 hours for once), than I used to make in a day. If I was not a Christian....arrrgggghhhh.......

I think I am going to disappear in a dark hole for a couple of weeks. I'm miserable and everything is pointless. I try so hard but feel like I get nowhere. I just sit here and cry and think, how God? How do I go on? How do I keep my head up and hope for the best when every part of me is broken and cries out in absolute anguish? On every side of me, I am attacked. I am absolutely and completely overwhelmed right now. I literally feel like I am going to lose it.

Oh God, I can't bare this. I can't; I can't. Please, help me. To be so overwhelmed that I don't know where to even start. It is impossible for me, but I know it is not for You. I am trying to live a Spirit led life but obviously I am not doing that well. I don't even know what to ask for Father, I have no idea. You know me, you know my heart, You know my limits. I have to be borderline psycho right now. Please, help me. Please my God, I need You right now. I am flailing and need Your direction, peace and understanding. I do trust you my God, I do. I have allowed myself to become overwhelmed with the multiple (yes, I said multiple), impossible situations I am looking at. I know I need to have faith you will provide and help and heal and mend but I lose sight God, I lose focus. My heart, will and spirit are broken. Please, please help me.