This was the first thanksgiving that I have ever spent alone. It was very difficult and a struggle for me but my Lord and Savior gave me the strength to make it through. I wouldn't wish that loneliness on anyone in this world, yet hundreds and thousands of people were in that same position. Please, pray for them.
God has called us unto Him in a real, true and invigorating relationship that is not only amazing but passionate. I have experienced more growth this past week then I have in months. The passion and desire to follow and serve was there, but I think I was approaching it from the wrong perspective which hindered my growth.
I sought Father to heal, mend and to find my purpose in Him. Yet looking back, I was still acting out in self. Let me elaborate. Rather than looking to follow Him and allow Him through my relationship to work; I sought what I could do to feel useful and worthy to serve Him. I tried in my strength and understanding to draw near to Him.
I finished a book this week called "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore". That book was amazing. It challenged me on so many levels to seek Him differently. He hasn't asked anything of me but to draw into Him. Develop a true relationship and learn to trust Him on where he leads. So many walls have come down. The desire and passion burns so strong and this time, it is more real than it has ever been. I am finally seeking Him in truth outside of myself. Learning to lean on Him completely with no obligations to duty or purpose. Total freedom is ours through His grace and love.
Can you fathom a relationship that is so real and full of hope? One that you have total peace in everything as you learn to give all of your hopes, plans, desires, fears and thoughts to Father. I no longer need to feel like I HAVE to serve Him. It is a renewing that can only occur from the inside out.
Do you struggle with addiction? Do you struggle with truly hearing, sensing and feeling the Father anymore? Well stop trying. I know that sounds crazy, but stop trying so hard to fight these areas of your life. Instead, rest in peace at His feet. Draw close to Him and allow the Holy Spirit to radically change you from the inside out. That is the only way to find true freedom. A total denial of self. There is nothing I can ever do to earn Fathers love; nothing. No amount of church, Bible reading, sacrifice of time to a purpose we feel obligated to. Nothing we "DO" can create that relationship with Him.
You will find that as you learn to just let go and let God, He will begin changing you from the inside out. I don't have to try and fight a past addiction. I don't have to struggle in the areas I stumble. There is nothing I can do to change those areas of my life. The harder I try, the harder the cycle is to break. But in giving of myself to the simplicity of what Father has asked, "Draw close to me, you can never do anything to earn my love, I offer it to you freely", you will find freedom. Your heart, your passions, your desires begin to change and it is unexplainable the peace, hope and joy that brings into your life.
I so look forward to where God is taking me in my relationship with Him. He is creating in me a new man, with a new outlook on life that can only come from Him. His peace, His love, His promises are freely mine and yours if we only seek in honesty and truth. Desire that relationship. Even if you have to step away from everything you are doing in the church to do so. Stop trying so hard to please a God that has created us for that relationship in Him. As I have done so, I am seeing things so differently. Relationships have a different meaning. I do not desire, even for a moment the old habits, addictions and self created work ethic I had before. I am learning to bask in His presence and to be thankful in that alone. He will direct me, day to day, where he wants me to go and how He wants me to live, not I.
I challenge you today, stop trying to "Do" for God and start trying to relish the simple truth and true purpose you were created for. You will be amazed as you begin to act, think and desire differently. As the Holy Spirit and Father seize hold of your life and change you completely from the inside out. You will and can never be the same, ever.
Happy Thanksgiving and I love you all. May God bring you joy, peace and happiness in all that you do. He is amazing and His love for you is unfailing. Grasp what He has for you today, follower or not, grasp the simplicity of what He has asked of you.
Thank you Father for changing my heart. Thank you for showing me truth and how easy it is to draw close to You once I relinquish self. I tried so long to focus my passion and desire on what I felt you wanted to do. I tried so hard to find my purpose and the plan you had for me. But in doing so, I believe it kept me from truly embellishing and embracing Your true desire and purpose in my life. I act now out of passion and the new man you are creating from within. Nothing I can do or try to do will ever be enough. Thank You for showing me this truth. Thank You for loving me and allowing me to grow in my relationship with You. In You I have everything I need in all truth. Thank You Father, I love you. In Jesus name ~ Amen.
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